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SHELTERS FOR VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:  Get help anywhere in the United States.  If there is something about your relationship that scares you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Someone is available at all times to listen and provide information to help you get safe.  The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) is a nationwide resource available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. All calls to NDVH are anonymous and translation is available for over 140 languages. Hotline Advocates have access to over 4800 resources nationwide and are able to connect callers to the services and programs available in their area.  

Are you in an abusive relationship?  

RELATIONSHIP QUIZ:

Does your partner act extremely jealous of others who pay attention to you, or use jealousy to justify his/her actions?
Does your partner control your finances, behavior and even whom you socialize with?
Does your partner make you afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures like smashing things, destroying your property or displaying weapons?
Does your partner threaten to kill you or commit suicide?
Make all the decisions?
Does your partner stop you from seeing or talking to friends, family or limits your outside involvement?
Does your partner act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault or even deny doing it?
Does your partner threatens to kill your pets?
Does your partner puts you down in front of other people, humiliate you, play mind games and make you feel as if you are crazy?
Does your partner prevent you from getting or keeping a job?
Does your partner take your money or does not let you know about or have access to the family income?
Does your partner threaten to take the children away?

Do you become quiet when he/she is around and feel afraid of making him/her angry?
Do you cancel plans at the last minute?
Do you stop seeing your friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated?
Do you find yourself explaining bruises to family or friends?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be involved in a relationship that is physically, emotionally or sexually abusive.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
- Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
- Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
- Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
- Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
- Does not want you to work.
- Controls finances or refuses to share money.
- Punishes you by withholding affection.
- Expects you to ask permission.
- Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
- Humiliates you in any way.

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:
- Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
- Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
- Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
- Scared you by driving recklessly.
- Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
- Forced you to leave your home.
- Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
- Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
- Hurt your children.
- Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:
- Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
- Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
- Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
- Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
- Has ever forced or manipulated you into having sex or performing sexual acts.
- Held you down during sex.
- Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
- Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
- Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
- Ignored your feelings regarding sex.

Domestic Violence Hotline (323) 681-2626.  See Contacts/Links for other resources.  

Rainbow Services (Emergency Domestic Violence services/referral in San Pedro):
24-Hours Hotline: (310) 547-9343


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